Just stop it

An evil racist, yesterday

C'mon guys this is getting pathetic now.

Jason 'sorry' for Pakistani joke

David Jason had to pre-emptively apologise for a crap joke which wasn't even racist, which no-one even fucking complained about. Apparently the comments were so awful Pravda quoted them in full in their article:

Speaking live on air on Tuesday, Sir David said: "What do you call a Pakistani cloakroom attendant?"

After a pause, he said: "Mahatma coat."

Seriously, did they get him later, or did they just execute this hate-monger on the spot?
That joke is not racist; it's just shit.

Do a google news search for 'David Jason Sorry' you get 93 relevant articles. Fuck me. It's a good job there's nothing important happening now to report on.

Ian O'Doherty in the Irish independent had the details of the professionally offended who didn't actually hear the show but who are outraged anyway:

Mr Mohammed Shafiq, of the Ramadhan Foundation, was quick to start squealing and made the equally pointless point that: "Many top jobs in this country are held by British Muslims, from lawyers, to doctors, politicians and other occupations."

Eh? Well I bet they're glad they have your endorsement, you supercilious fuck-knuckle. You see kids, Muslims are people too.

Now, the chances are you saw the joke, scratched your head and moved on -- but that means you too are as racist as David Jason

Don't jest, Ian.

Top Drawer

I thought the days of the decent political orators was over, but Daniel Hannan has made my "politicians I have time for" list with this superbly written and perfectly delivered condemnation of Gordon Brown during his visit to the European Parliament.

He has summarised the feelings of all of us impotently watching this train wreck of a government during it's final throws, and imparted them in the most crushing manner. If there was a message that needs to be propagated wide and far, this is it.

The man is wasted in Europe, but if we must have guys there, I'm glad he's one of them.

*Update* Via loads of people:

Nigel Farage giving Gordon another proper kicking first



I feel all warm inside.

Right, this is getting fun again; will make time for more posts.
Honest.

Unlucky

Sweet irony, thy name is this guy

Deathbed confession man charged


So a guy thought he was dying and thought he'd ease his troubled conscience by confessing to the murder of his neighbour. Only then he recovered, and so now he may well be executed for it.

Ooh, brace yourself for the 10 tonne irony pile-driver there, James.

Neglected Blog

Note to self: write stuff on blog when not nuts-deep in electrical design work. Not that I can think straight, 'cause I'm getting a new motor on Friday and I'm excitedly bouncing around like a particularly idiotic five year old on Christmas morning.

Meanwhile via the good Doctor Crippen:

STAFFORD HOSPITAL STILL BETTER THAN HOMEOPATHY

The Daily Mash once again shows itself to be the only reliable news source.

What should we get Gordon?

"Please love me back"

What do you get a 'partner' to show that the 'special relationship' is as strong as ever?

Apparently a DVD box set.

And what did we toss their way?

Mr Brown's gifts included an ornamental desk pen holder made from the oak timbers of Victorian anti-slaver HMS Gannet, once named HMS President.

Mr Obama was so delighted he has already put it in pride of place in the Oval Office on the Resolute desk which was carved from timbers of Gannet's sister ship, HMS Resolute.

And in return our esteemed premier was given the equivalent of a box of Ferrero Rocher and a bunch of BP forecourt flowers.

Seriously. Some poor intern was probably sent off with ten dollars and told to buy something shiny to send the simpering limey supplicant away with, so as not to make the whole embuggerance too awkward. They popped down to the Seven-11, spotted it in the bargain bin whilst buying a slurpie and thought "This'll do!". Unconfirmed reports suggest that the gift may also have contained a squeaky toy and an old tennis ball to play with.

Sweet Arm-flapping Christ. I'm so torn on this one, because I'm really enjoying his slow-motion downfall, but at the same time he's taking us all down with him.

If he wasn't at the helm this would be solid gold entertainment.

Wow, they must be thirsty.

Alcoholic hand gels removed from hospitals after patients use them to get drunk

The gel is supposedly undrinkable thanks to the foul tasting chemical additive bitrex but paramedics who have treated patients found with the dispensers say addicts will simply "drink through" the taste.

Frankly if they want a drink that bad, I say fill yer boots.

The cleanser, which has been in the NHS for more than four years and is used to tackle hospital-acquired infections such as MRSA, contains 75 per cent proof alcohol, nearly twice the strength of whisky.

Actually as any proper drinker will tell you, it's either 75 per cent alcohol by volume or 150 proof. Tsk.
Still.....Bloody hell.