'Tis stupid o'clock and I feel the creative drive, but I'm struggling to summon up anything to write about(And my MPs expenses are quite boring reading), so I'm just going to go on a bit of a stream-of-consciousness ramble, if that's OK with you lot.
Apparently they're expecting a record turnout at
Stonehenge this year for the summer solstice, which I'm told is when the day is longest in the northern hemisphere. Question: what do these people do when they're there? Is it like a giant hippy jamboree? If so, why would there be an official -and Plod enforced- 'zero tolerance policy' (4 can of beer limit per person) on drink and drugs? Surely that's the only way to make this giant overcrowded, hessian-smelling, goat-rope even halfway bearable? When was the burden on the police shifted from detecting and punishing crime (and therefore deterring it), to outright prevention of it?
In other news, a few guys have snuffed it after scoring some
bad skag; I'm guessing right now someone in Yorkshire is drawing up a new campaign against drugs, rather than learning the historical lessons against prohibition. Which leads me to a conversation I had with my mate Dave (Newtons fourth law: everyone has a mate called Dave):
Me: Drug laws, they're all bollocks aren't they?
Dave: Yep, waste of time and energy
Me: You know that the difference between the therapeutic dose and an overdose of paracetamol is like ten-times smaller than that of heroin?
Dave: That right?
Me: So I read. Oh and the only major side effect of heroin, in it's uncontaminated form, is constipation.
Dave: Like he says in Trainspotting.
Me: Right. Would be odd if they were all made legal overnight though, wouldn't it? I mean they would probably have some sense of moderation on the continent, but the UK would be like the last days of Rome. So to speak.
Dave: I would be high as shit.
Me: Right. And imagine buying smack at Tesco's.
Dave: They wouldn't sell it though, would they?
Me: Well I'm guessing they initially would licence the vendors, and the obvious choice would be pharmacies, and Tesco's normally have one.
Dave: They wouldn't miss a trick would they?
Me: Not normally. But if they didn't want to sell drugs because of some residual stigma....
Dave: Understandable.
Me: Quite. But if they didn't, well I'd be all over that action.
Dave: Fucking right, my front room would be a crack lounge before sun-up.
Me: I'd be beating down my bank manager's door with my business plan for Sluggy's Smack Shack written up in triplicate.
Dave: We'd clean up.
Me: Free markets in action.
Dave: Won't happen though, will it?
Me: Nah, they'll have banned harsh language before tomorrow.
etc.
Elsewhere, in an attempt to write the Daily Mail's headlines for them:
Baby P doctor sues over dismissalBest of luck with that, Doc.
I did ask a doctor friend if maybe, you know -being objective, like- it might be relatively hard to notice a broken back on a toddler; I was told to not be so fucking stupid. So there you go.
And speaking of the Mail:
God-botherer sacked for not doing her fucking job - Good. Believe in whatever sky fairy you want to in your own time; bring that shit to work and you're fair game. And, since I'm not being PC:
Kraut reckons Wimmin tennis players are just there to look at and that their grunting whilst serving is unsexy.
I disagree, those noises do it for me.
The best story is Broon playing at home in the
Grauniad. Apparently, he could just walk out right now, and it would make no difference to him. Don't, by all means, let us stop you. Also, he believes doing so might actually be better for his kids. What? Seeing more of you? That's all they need; if the poor bastards go the way most else you get involved with does, they'll have regressed back to single cells by the following week. I'm flagging now, so for rational commentary on the article, see
leg_iron.
Ah, and now it's 4:38am and I'm seeing weird shit. You've been a great audience, tip your waitress.