Could be worse…

…our ‘education’ authorities could be running things like this place over the pond:

Berkeley High School is considering a controversial proposal to eliminate science labs and the five science teachers who teach them to free up more resources to help struggling students.

Erm, but not with science, I’m guessing.

The proposal to put the science-lab cuts on the table was approved recently by Berkeley High's School Governance Council, a body of teachers, parents, and students who oversee a plan to change the structure of the high school to address Berkeley's dismal racial achievement gap, where white students are doing far better than the state average while black and Latino students are doing worse.

Wow.  Tell me if I’m wrong, but aren’t they addressing this ‘inequality’ in racial groups by preventing the white students from doing well?  Well actually scratch that; they’re removing the ability of anyone to perform at all  –at least in this field.  Classic social engineering as we’ve come to expect it: Reversion to the universally mediocre – or - if everyone can’t have it, no-one can.

Paul Gibson, an alternate parent representative on the School Governance Council, said that information presented at council meetings suggests that the science labs were largely classes for white students. He said the decision to consider cutting the labs in order to redirect resources to underperforming students was virtually unanimous.

But, presumably if black and Latino students wanted to do the science courses, they would be able to right? So there’s no inherent inequality here; the students in these classes just happen to be mostly white.  And like the commenters say, it’s not just the well-performing white kids who’ll suffer; any aspirational child wanting to succeed in what is normally considered a vital subject area will be prevented from doing so.

This is an extreme example plucked from one of thousands of schools in the developed world, but the most troubling aspect of this story is just how unsurprising I found it. Such is the predictable and universal quality of the Righteous meddler.

Merry Christmas

I’m off to the states in the morning for a few days, so will be quiet for a bit.

In the interim, I hope you lot have a good ‘un and we can get back into the fray with a purpose on the other side of the year.

Catch you later.

(Oh yes, and I’ll endeavour to sort out my ‘serious’ climate change post so we can all fall out.  Joy.)

Why don’t you just give them away?

I think Mandy is just going out of his way to flabber my gast these days, and I work for the sinister, omnipresent cockpiece:

The age of the traditional three-year degree could come to an end after universities were today ordered to devise two-year fast-track courses to cut the cost of higher education to students and the public purse.

Lord Mandelson, the business secretary who is also responsible for universities, wrote to the funding council for universities asking them to develop proposals for more flexible degrees. "Over the next spending review period, we will want some shift away from full-time three year places and towards a wider variety of provision," he said.

Fuck-ing-hell.  Do you know, dear reader, why traditional degrees are three years long? It is because they are supposed to be hard.  They are supposed to impart advanced and specialised knowledge in a student’s chosen field.  I for example, studied Electronic Engineering.  For the record: This is hard.  Whilst the philosophy students were starting their weekends on Wednesdays, I had about 27 hours of lectures/lab time per week; and that didn’t really let up for the duration of my course.  There is no way you could hack a ‘proper’ ( i.e. a course meant for a profession; not some three year indulgence in a subject you kind of liked at school) down to two years without compromising on content and/or quality.

His letter also announces new multi-million pound cuts next year – including nearly £60m in fines for universities that over-recruited students this year, after record numbers applied to sit out the recession's tough jobs market by doing a degree. It comes after the chancellor ordered a further £600m in cuts in the higher education budget to be made by 2013, prompting warnings that universities are rapidly approaching a funding crisis.

So let me get this straight: because so many proto-dolebludgers were kept off benefits by enrolling in some form of course, many Universities found themselves over-subscribed.  So now you are going to simultaneously cut the teaching budget and impose fines on those same places who so obligingly pasted a facade on your numbers, as per your request at the time?  So as far as I can see you’ve shifted the feckless from one form of benefits to another, just so you can kick them back out again, whilst diluting the quality (or the perception thereof) of a degree whilst concurrently shafting the entire university system . Oh well done  Mandy, you’ve really rather surpassed yourself this time. Switching to Al-Beeb’s take (because the quotes make me more angry):

Shadow universities and skills secretary, David Willetts, said of the over-recruitment penalties: "We now have the bizarre situation that universities are being fined for meeting targets set by this government.

Well quite.  But this part really gripped my shit (my bold):

The government also wants to see more degrees completed over two years rather than three as a way of easing the funding crisis and to broaden education to a wider range of students.

This would tend to appeal to those doing more vocational subjects such as engineering and law.

Oooh, that last sentence, it burns.  The same subjects me and the wife took, respectively. Bollocks to lawyers, but engineering? Just what fucking subjects do you think universities are for? Vocational subjects!? Fucking ‘Vocational’ as in GNVQ? as in on-the-job training?  You see, this illustrates exactly why you never want socialists in charge: they are a pointless, talentless crowd of shop stewards, campaigners and primary school teachers of no relevant business or industry experience (beyond being told what buttons to press by real people) good only for spare parts and ruining the lives and aspirations of others.  Fucking “vocational subjects”. Cunts.

(Shadow universities and skills secretary, David Willetts) said a Conservative government would offer an additional 10,000 more, fully-funded, university places to enable more young people to enter university next year.

And you can fuck off as well.  I think we’ve established that there are ample (too many) student places, just that they’re doing pointless subjects of no practical or commercial use and are emerging with a false sense of entitlement, such that they’re not willing to take the menial jobs which are now ‘below them’.  We have too many ‘universities’ producing too many graduates in Horse-Wanking(BA Hons) and providing too little of what we actually need to independently function as a industrialised country.

Reading the comments over at Constantly Furious’ post (nimble figured fucker got there first, and it’s a good ‘un)  a couple of people say they see the point in a 2 year course, if they can fit the material in and save some cash.  Well, okay I guess, but bearing in mind we’re paying for them, what are these subjects and do they actually need degrees in the first place?

Of course all of this could be avoided if the government wasn't involved in tertiary education in the first place.  I started university in 1998: the first under NuLab, so I was one of the first on student loans. Now I was at university for 5 years -doing a Masters’ and whatnot- and after recently speaking to an American colleague in a similar stage  in his career, ascertained that our levels of personal debt were roughly equivalent.  The only difference being his university isn't scrabbling amongst  community colleges for funding while being compelled to take on morons.

So privatise the universities. Yes, it would require a personal investment, but if you’re doing a subject which is needed you’ll see a return on that investment.  If you don’t, then I hope you had a good time ‘cause you’re picking up the bill.   Decent institutions would thrive, Mickey Mouse ex-polys with delusions would not. 

And yes, that is elitist, but that is also the point: it’s where the clever people go to become better at being clever, not where you send idiots so that they can feel all warm inside.  Now stop dragging all of us down to your level, you fucking parasites.

Guess that’s a bit embarrassing

"Shouldn't we encryp..."
"Shut up and send it, it'll be fine. What are they going to do, reverse engineer the data?"

Iraqi gunmen have learned to intercept secret data from US intelligence and use them in their purposes. It goes about the information collected by Predator unmanned aircraft. A program, which can be downloaded online for less than $26, gives the gunmen an opportunity to access video signals transmitted by unmanned aircraft.

“Oh.”

*Update* I am informed that this issue was resolved ages ago. Good oh.  However, I do find Pravda's brazen absence of any kind of journalistic objectivity thoroughly entertaining. I'm so glad we have a quality state broadcaster of integrity that we can rely on. Ahem.

*spits out coffee*

You’re fucking joking, right?

Is he playing some kind of bizarre official appointments bingo?  Is he Labour’s only remaining credible candidate for anything?

Boris has his faults, but how exactly the Dark Lord would have to butcher his reputation or appearance in order to make himself in any way a desirable candidate for mayor I am terrified to imagine.

Yes you could keep the buffoonish fop who, admittedly has kept to his campaign promises, and despite some ill-advised choices in staff , has been relatively competent……or you could choose the most unscrupulous and duplicitous political specimen in recent memory.

Think hard, London.

Wait longer

Having started some debate on Friday night’s semi-lucid , stream-of-consciousness post where I babblingly outed myself as a warmist ecoloon in the thrall of the IPCC’s dedicated team of deceivers;  I am unable to adequately commit what there is of my intellect and join in the fray as I'm a bit laid-up with the dreaded manthrax.

In my fevered stupor, I’ll endeavour to bung together my take on the points raised by the commenters, so we can disagree some more.

I’m sure you’re breathless with anticipation.

Here’s some choice Lamebook for being such good boys and girls:

Yeah, that doesn’t work for me either.

Worlds Colliding

Ok, this is a long ramble, so steel yourselves.  I wrote this as a brief outline of my travels toward Libertarianism, and segued off into a discussion into our relationship with science, specifically the ever-topical climate change stuff.  At the time of writing I’d had a bit to drink, so don’t be surprised if stuff changes later in order to make sense . Ta.

The whole Blogosphere/Web 2.0 phenomenon is fascinating.  As a communication and information medium it is unlike anything else in human history, but the patterns and behaviours of the communities within it are completely typical of what you’d expect of gatherings of like-minded souls in the ‘real’ world;  i.e. like-seeking-like, ‘us and them’ mentalities, dominant and passive personalities emerging, the same centre-of-attention extroverts and observational introvert  types you get in any crowd.  I could go on. 

Now, thinking back to how I arrived where I am today, I can kind of track the various internet communities I’ve observed, followed and partaken in over the last ten years or so.  I recall, for example, reading “Stupid White Men” by Michael Moore, and believing every word (yeah, I know).  I remember following up on that by visiting his website and following his campaigns. And then, to know the ‘enemy’ I would read Moorewatch, and would sneer at them nasty righties. One of the contributors to that had a blog called Right Thinking From The Left Coast, which I took to reading for ‘balance’ whilst taking sites like Truthout.org as gospel.  Ultimately though, it would become less a contrasting view than a consensus.  Michael Moore introduced me to politics. Fucking hell.

About the same time I started reading Ben Goldacre’s Bad Science blog/Grauniad piece –which I probably found by way of B3ta- and I got well into the science blogger/sceptic scene.  I spent a lot of this time reading and commenting on articles and blogs to do with debunking the modern witchcraft which is Alt-Med and otherwise concerning myself with popular science.

Now -to bring us into recent memory- my first proper graduate job was with a defence/nuclear engineering firm, and I started to receive a half-decent salary.  I noticed that a surprisingly large proportion of my pay was being whisked off by the taxman, and  so I took an interest in how it was being spent.  One day I happened across DK (if memory serves, by way of Badscience->Dr Rant-> Doc Crippen), and then -by poking around- OH and Obo and all the rest of you capitalist misanthropes.  I must have found the ‘robust’ discussion enticing, because here I am amongst that scabrous crew.  Oh and a load of us went for a little walk, which pretty much cemented me. 

These days, I find myself a Right-Libertarian working in a taxpayer-funded public sector job -with accompanying parasite’s pension (don’t worry, it won’t last)- amongst the scientific community, who are mostly ‘of the left’.  It causes me no end of Randian angst, let me tell you.

Where am I going with all this? Well, I generally have a couple of interests on t’web: politics and science.  Now normally these two areas of the ’sphere have their own distinct denizens who rarely dip in both pools, but occasionally you get the likes of this (from June):

A grumble on the poor quality of a libertarian discourse on passive smoking

Now this post was by a chap called Gimpy, whose writing I know from the Badscience crowd and who generally focuses on things like homeopathy, reiki and other woo common to this age of endarkenment.  On this occasion he took issue with a Spiked article which he felt was being misleading with regard to the scientific evidence for second-hand smoke. #

What was interesting though was the weighing in of IanPJ and Dick Puddlecote in the comments; two fellow LPUKers and bloggers who I’ve met and have a lot of time and respect for.  Now I didn’t notice this argument until everyone had moved on to something else, but found myself in the awkwardly rational position of agreeing with both sides and unable to take the default tribal position on an issue and disregard the other.  For the record and IMHO, I think that if we (libertarians) are going to argue an issue like the smoking ban, we should stick to the personal free-choice argument, because instead trying to pick out supporting scientific studies that underplay the associated health hazards about something demonstrably unhealthy just looks like disingenuous cherry-picking.  Jus’ sayin’.

More recently, we’ve had the collective right-wing orgasm which was ‘Climategate’.  Now I don’t write about climate issues at all, because it is crazily fucking complicated and I have only the vaguest idea of the concepts involved.  And if I’m going to blog on something, especially something science-related, I like to at least be on speaking terms with the subject.  Also, my stats skills are shit.  Which is why it comes as a bit of a surprise to me that so many of you have taken the time to look at the available data and subsequently convince yourselves that the whole concept of man-made climate change is false.  Indeed a lot of you state with some vehemence that it is in fact a hoax.  Frankly I’m impressed and envious of your insight.

Although, I must ask: Are any of you just a little bit suspicious or uneasy as to why pretty much the entirety of the right wing of international politics is united in their subscription to what is essentially a minority scientific position?  And I’m generally the last one to hold to the appeal to authority, but if you are going to dismiss the findings of near-all of the scientific community as part of some global conspiracy of socialist deceit, can you not do better than constantly appeal directly to the authority of a contrarian TV weatherman?

I need to ask those of you of AGW-sceptic bent:  Did you arrive at your opinion by looking at the evidence and using that to determine your conclusion from scratch, or did you choose the idea you liked best and elect to listen to whatever evidence supported your stance? Are you sure you just don’t like the idea because it plays directly into the hands of authoritarians seeking further regulation of industry?  I know I don’t;  this is a huge opportunity for a socialist/corporatist power-grab. Unfortunately that doesn’t make the fundamental phenomena not true.  

If you reject something without even considering it as an option, that’s not scepticism, that’s denial.  So, rather patronisingly, I’m asking you lot to be honest with yourselves as to your motivations.  Because, if  AGW is real –and I reckon it probably is- all we’re doing is removing ourselves from the discussion if we refuse to acknowledge it just because we don’t like the idea.

Regarding Climategate… I want you to imagine me pinching the bridge of my nose right now.  Right, the contents of those emails were certainly embarrassing and concerning, but contained nothing which would reasonably be considered smoking gun evidence of actual scientific fraud- if you reckon they did, link to it in the comments and we can argue, but I’m very aware of the length of this post and it’s late. 

Pretty much all of the accusations and innuendo were based on suppositions and circumstantial evidence – Columbo style.  Apparently, they’re going to do some kind of full transparent investigation of the place – which some of you have already decided will be a whitewash….unless it produces evidence of fraud you’re already convinced exists, presumably. 

I never intended to go into specifics for this post, and I’ve ended up glossing over the Climategate stuff, but I really think we’ve made a huge deal out of what looks to me like some very boring emails detailing what was probably completely innocent research, taken completely out of context by people looking specifically for suspicious irregularities.

Seriously, I ‘ve said it before, but our crowd needs to let go of this conspiracy mindset.  If it’s not this, it’s  nasty things in vaccines put there by the big farmer (ooh arr!) for some unknown reason. If it’s not that, it’s Obama’s NWO closing in on us with his Common Purpose shocktroops.   

LARGE HUMAN CONSPIRACIES DONT HAPPEN BECAUSE WE’RE STUPID AND CANNOT COOPERATE. 

Politically, there is merely a series of shitty events taken advantage of by greedy, power seeking parasites, with the occasional Ashcroft or Mandelson pulling strings.  Corporately, big businesses command big influence, but are clumsy and egregious by their very nature.  But if you think that every major government and large education institution in the world is working in cahoots so as to collectively pull the wool over the eyes of the entire planet……well there is a reason why libertarians are considered the lunatic fringe in many ‘conventional’ circles.

That is all.   *passes out*

Obligatory Trafigura Post

Never being one to miss a good libel-censorship, blog-solidarity bandwagon, here’s the Newsnight video at the heart of the ongoing Carter-Ruck gang-fuck:

Incidentally, the Grauniad tells me that the libel decision is happening today.  Guess who the judge is.  Go on, guess.

A resolution is expected in the high court today of the libel action brought against the BBC by British-based oil traders Trafigura. A hearing is scheduled before Mr Justice Eady this morning.

Justice Eady, Carter-Ruck and libel cases: a perfect storm of free-speech-stomping fuckery.

For the thirsty engineer

Found whilst browsing the Arrse forums (Clicky for .pdf):

It’s a cocktail menu done as an engineering drawing.  I particularly like the revision control details:

This pleases me.

God botherers

Forewarning: Will cause offense to religious-types, probably.

On the way up my mum’s for the weekend, I heard the Archbishop crazy-brows on the radio,  fucking opining again:

 The Archbishop of Canterbury has accused the government of treating religious believers as “oddities, foreigners and minorities”.

Weeelllllll, they do believe in the illogical and do things which are inherently irrational,  the most tabloid-friendly trouble causing ‘faithful’ are foreigners, and there is such a plethora of beliefs or variations therein that any given believer is-generally speaking- a minority. Whatever.

In an interview with a British newspaper Dr Williams said: “The trouble with a lot of government initiatives about faith is that they assume it is a problem, it’s an eccentricity, it’s practised by oddities, foreigners and minorities.

No, the problem with government initiatives about faith is that they exist.  If there are problems with religion -and I could list many-  they are not not ones best mitigated by state intervention.  If the state did have a role, it would be in policing the same universal laws and standards upon the religious as on anyone else; rather than singling out particular groups as exceptions and granting special dispensations under the guise of ‘sensitivity’.  The state’s bungling attempts–at local and national level-  at enforced social cohesion have done more damage to societal harmony than any given extremist ever has.

When asked if he believed political leaders should be more open about their religious beliefs, Dr Williams said: “I don’t think it would do any harm at all. I think part of establishing their human credentials is saying, ‘This is where my motivation comes from. I’m in politics because this is what I believe’.

Bollocks.  Whatever your given superstitions, keep them out of government.  By introducing their religion into parliament, they introduce sectarianism and magic-thinking into a (notional) place of reason.   We don’t have a constitutional separation of church and state like the Americans (in point of fact the CoE is the state church) but religion is less of a political influence over here, because –like most of Europe- we kind of grew out of it.   Well, it’s less of an influence until you upset a Muslim, obviously.

Here’s Melanie Phillips from the Daily Hate, violently agreeing with him:

This is not just a seasonal exercise in special pleading by a Church leader. Dr Williams has put his finger on what should be a cause of extreme disquiet - the war of attrition being waged against Christian beliefs. 

Erm, yes it is.  He thinks his brands of voodoo has merit and wants it to have a special place in government, and therefore imposed on the rest of us.  But I’m all for people having freedom of expression and worship (so long as they leave me out of it)  so what’s all this talk of a ‘war of attrition on Christian beliefs’?

In recent times, there has been a string of cases in which it is no exaggeration to say that British Christians have been persecuted for expressing their faith.

In July, Duke Amachree, a Christian who for 18 years had been a Homelessness Prevention Officer for Wandsworth Council, encouraged a client with an incurable medical condition to believe in God.

As a result, Mr Amachree was marched off the premises, suspended and then dismissed from his job. It was a similar case to the Christian nurse who was suspended after offering to pray for a patient's recovery.

Christians are being removed from adoption panels if they refuse to endorse placing children for adoption with samesex couples.

Similarly, a Christian counsellor was sacked by the national counselling service Relate because he refused to give sex therapy sessions to gays.

See my previous statement about state meddling and the subsequent hypersensitivity -but those are all examples of Christians not respecting the boundaries between their beliefs and their jobs. 

Lets look at the bod on the adoption panel:  by whatever means we’ve established a protocol for child adoption which allows for Gays to adopt.  Your Christian comes along and doesn’t want  to play by those rules because some bronze-age book vaguely alludes to it being a ‘bad thing’.  OK, so don’t put yourself in a position where that will be a problem, and if you do decide to meddle with someone else's life as per your precious beliefs, don’t be surprised when someone objects.

What this amounts to is that for Christians, the freedom to live according to their religious beliefs - one of the most fundamental precepts of a liberal society - is fast becoming impossible.

Really? Is someone stopping Christians from going to church,  giving alms, turning the other cheek and all the rest of it, or do you mean they are prevented from interfering with other peoples’ lives and the way they wish to live them?

Indeed, merely professing traditional Christian beliefs can cause such offence that it is treated as a crime.

Yes then.

Take, for example, the case of Harry Hammond, an elderly and eccentric evangelical who was prosecuted for a public order offence after parading with a placard denouncing immorality and homosexuality - even though he was assaulted by the hostile crowd he was held to have offended.

Ah but this is the age of the Righteous (© Leg-iron), and offense is more serious than assault as any fule kno.  Don’t worry Mel, if anyone ever protests outside a church and calls it a ‘cult’ or some other wicked name, they’ll no doubt get the same provided the church is on good terms with the local constabulary. You see, no-one is allowed to cause offense, Mel, even if that is a vital part of being a Christian –which is what you’re alluding to, I guess.  But hey, thank Tony and Gord’s lot; they’ve curtailed your freedoms as much as ours.

The curious fact is that Labour's hostility to faith is highly selective. It does everything it can to protect and support minority creeds while appearing to do everything it can to attack Christianity.

Well, I wouldn’t call it attacking Christianity so much as favouritism towards Islam, who must be handled with kid gloves lest they be made angry.  You wouldn’t like them when they’re angry.  And while upsetting the Muslims has the implied threat of stuff exploding; upsetting Christians generally has politicians running the risk of a strongly worded letter to the Times.  Or one scribbled in green pen and spittle to the Mail. Whichever.

I could go on about her and Rowan, but I want to get to this clown who had something to say over the weekend:

“There’s a large number of things that the Taliban say and stand for which none of us in the West could approve, but simply to say therefore that everything they do is bad is not helping the situation. The Taliban can perhaps be admired for their conviction to their faith and their sense of loyalty to each other.”

Holy fucking shit. 

I’m sure they do believe very much in what their toothless illiterate local Iman tells him to believe.  I’m sure that they are steadfast in their beliefs and unwavering in their loyalty  to their fellow jihadists whilst they maim, mutilate and kill in the name of a 6th century warmongering child-molester.

The bishop had a stab at a hasty apology when he realised he’d indulged in some very public fuckwittery.  In response, I commend to you The Greek chap’s post:

I suppose it would be too much to ask for the armed forces to have a chaplain or two who isn't intent on handing out maracas to these acid-throwing neanderthals and singing campfire songs? It's not your job to "understand" the Taliban, Padre, so stop acting like a cartoon Anglican; just bless the fucking rocket launchers and get out of the fucking way. Let's give their mothers something to cry about.

Indeed.

What the bishop (and reading into their words: the Archbishop and Mel) seems to believe is that faith -any faith- is somehow a virtue.  Never mind what it’s faith in,  or what or why you believe; so long you prostrate yourself before the invisible sky-fairy, that’s considered an admirable personal attribute. 

I rather disagree, as you might’ve figured. Having mindless blind faith in something unknowable and supernatural is a trait belonging to the infancy of our species, which just marks us out as the poorly evolved chimps that we are, quivering before the vastness of creation.  So insecure are we to face reality and make our own purpose that we turn to authority figures -real or imagined- and plead for instructions: What must we do? How must we act? What must we think?  The sooner we evolve beyond such juvenile fantasy, the better we’ll all be.

In my not so humble opinion.

Of course I’ll echo the declaration/lament of any rational atheist or indeed libertarian:  Believe what you like and do as you please; just leave me- and anyone else whose not a willing participant- alone.  But you won’t, will you? 

And with a hat-tip to Atheist Revolution, I steal this quote:

"I just can't keep it to myself"
you know, replace "jesus" with "my genitals", and that's a crime. and that's how we feel about it. religion should be like your genitals. it's fine to enjoy them, it's fine to be proud of them, just keep them to yourself unless invited to share.

Oh, and very apropos: here is Pat Condell’s latest :

Man goes to jail for punishment beating shocker

So you look at the Mail’s headlines and you see:

And then you read the opening paragraphs:

A millionaire businessman who fought back against a knife-wielding burglar was jailed for two-and-a-half years yesterday. But his attacker has been spared prison.

Munir Hussain, 53, and his family were tied up and told to lie on the floor by career criminal Waled Salem, who burst into his home with two other masked men.

And round about now you’re thinking “Those fuckers”. Lets read on:

Mr Hussain's nightmare began on September 3 last year when he, his wife, 18-year-old daughter and two sons aged 18 and 15 returned from their mosque during Ramadan to find three intruders in their home in High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire.

Not a situation I (or I’m guessing, you) would ever like to oneself in.

Mr Hussain made a break for freedom by throwing a coffee table at his attackers. He and Tokeer chased the gang and brought Salem to the ground in a front garden.

Ace, at least one of the bastards can answer for what they’ve done.

Reading Crown Court heard how Mr Hussain and his brother then beat Salem while he lay on the ground, using a cricket bat, a pole and a hockey stick - leaving him with a fractured skull and brain damage following the 'sustained' attack.

Ah. 

What followed was described in Reading Crown Court as self-defence that went too far, leaving intruder Salem with a permanent brain injury after he was struck with a cricket bat so hard that it broke into three pieces.

Oh dear. 

Anyway, he ended up with 30 months inside, and his brother got 39. Cue stock outrage from the DM set. One of the more popular comments:

All we can say is "Typical" ? We need to stand up for ourselves, people should be protesting in the streets until this man is released. We cannot have a system like this.
The burglars deserved what they got. The way I see it, if you break into someone's house they have the right to defend themselves and their family in whatever way they can. What if they were killed? This judge needs a reality check!
C'mmon Britain!! I really can't wait for the years to roll on so I can relocate!

Well that’s the thing; you do have the right to defend yourself. What crosses the demarcation point into criminality is chasing a bloke down the street, pinning him in someone else's lawn and staving his head in rather than holding him till the plod turn up (whether they do turn up or the CPS press charges is separate sorry issue).  Regardless of our base urges to preemptively punishment-beat every hoody who looks at us cross-eyed, not many people are arguing that retributive vigilante attacks be made legal.  Well, not apart from the Daily Mail and my Granddad, anyway.

All that said, this guy has my total sympathy, and I can’t imagine I would behave any more rationally had it been my family.  In fact, I probably would be looking for disused mine-shafts or convenient lime-pits round about now in order to reduce police paperwork…

Also, unless this burglar was left a total vegetable (and not being able to testify would lend this some weight- if so, good), 2 1/2 years is a bit steep. Especially when you read the likes of Gadget’s blog or read through the old Nightjack stuff and see what derisory sentences proper criminals often end up with.

At least he’s got the system working in his favour in that 2.5 years = about 6 months on good behaviour.

Well that must’ve been a shock

A Ukrainian man's jaw was blown off after he laced his chewing gum with an unknown substance, local authorities in the country's Sumy region said of the man who died from his injuries.

WTF?

A chemistry student at the Kiev Polytechnic Institute who was identified only by his first name Vladimir liked to chew gum and dip it in citric acid, his family said.

As you do.

He was working on his home computer Saturday night in the town of Konotop when his mother heard the sound of the explosion, according to authorities. She turned around to find Vladimir, 25, on the floor with his face bleeding and his jaw blown off.

How many times must we hear of these young people with half their heads missing due to confectionary-based shenanigans before someone does something?  

Remember kids: if, in these troubled times , you’re trying to make that increasingly expensive chewing gum last that little bit longer by the use of chemical additives, make sure you keep the comically unstable explosive out of dabbing distance.

Sage words to live by, I’m sure you’ll agree.

Obo’s got it covered

A parasitic cockweasel, yesterday

I read this article by ^this^ reprehensible fucksock, thought about writing about it, saw Obo’s response and decided I couldn’t quite summon the same level of energy.  So go read the retort of everyone’s favourite child-eating clown.

Yet no excuses can save me from the wrath of Grimsby. The mood produced by the Daily Telegraph is so ugly and so immune to reason.
Immune to reason? IMMUNE TO REASON? You arrogant FUCK!
It's not that we are immune to reason, it's that you motherfucking thieving whores are immune to fucking contrition!
How fucking DARE YOU get caught fucking thieving money from the public, not change your ways and then try to say that WE are immune to reason?

What he said.

Fear and Dread

…which are the exceedingly cool Greek names for the moons of Mars - Phobos and Deimos - caught in the same picture for the first time by the Mars Express orbiter.

It took some pretty good close-ups of Phobos:

Oooh, pretty.

Generous Gordon

Apparently Gordon is giving away other peoples’ money again:

Yeah I can’t see any problems with that, it’s foolproof.  I mean, with a budget deficit of £178 billion, what’s another 1.5 between friends, right? I mean what the hell, it’s only banks who’re paying, and they are this years’ designated bitches.  I’m sure there won’t be any knock-on effects for the rest of us when the financial institutions need to find a billion and a half from somewhere.  And it’s not like the country’s best financial minds will be able to find ways around paying this (no-doubt brilliantly penned and unavoidable) tax leaving the next government short of cash to deliver on Gordon’s magnanimous gesture.

This was a big increase on Britain's initial offer of £800 million for a voluntary international fund to help encourage progress in climate talks at Copenhagen but Mr Brown suggested that there would be no extra call on taxpayers because the money was already budgeted for.

Indeed, it’s about double –what a nice man he is. I will sleep well at night knowing that a man with such an unblemished record of financial competence has ‘budgeted’ for it.

It means Britain is offering the largest EU contribution to the fund, followed by France and Germany on €1.26 billion each over the three years.

Well, it’s only fair seeing as we’re so economically secure compared to those two.  True, among the three of us it is only the UK who has yet to emerge from recession; but rest assured that with the careful and steady hand of the Iron Chancellor at the helm, all will be well.

Either that or we are all fucked flatter than hammered shit.

Krampus

I just received this in the post from my mate Dave in Austria:

 I’m really not sure what’s happening here

After a quick text message, he informs me that it is in fact a gingerbread Krampus.   Apparently he goes around with Saint Nick, punishing the naughty kids.  Harsh.

Traditionally, young men dress up as the Krampus in the first two weeks of December, particularly in the evening of December 5th, and roam the streets frightening children and women with rusty chains and bells. In some rural areas the tradition also includes birching by Krampus, especially of young girls.

Well that sounds like fun.

Text conversation with Dave:

Slug: What the fuck have you sent me in the post?

Dave: It is Krampus. Fear him.

Slug: He is feared. Why is that kid in a bucket?

Dave: Land is expensive in Austria. Your average incubus can't afford the dungeon-keller favoured by citizens.

He’s a bad man.

He’s seen the light

Leg-Iron has realised he’s not a 14 year old female goth self-harmer and so has no place on Livejournal.  He has therefore decided to join the rest of us in the thrall of Google.

In between bouts of sobriety he writes good stuff, so adjust your sets to here:

http://underdogsbiteupwards.blogspot.com/

Be told.

How bad does he need to be?

Just a quick ‘un, because I need to pretend to work today:

 

How?  The man is incompetence made flesh.  He has the unfailing faecal touch; everything he comes in contact with turns to shit.  He is probably the worst Prime Minister in history.  He is the very worst manifestation of the power-mad autocratic imbecile: too stupid to know his own limitations whilst he lays waste to all he surveys, convinced of the manifest truth of he being the one who can ‘fix’ things.  How bad must he be, and how long must the rampage continue before the tribal Labour voters reconsider their position? Is it even possible?

Ultimately though, the person who comes out looking worst is Call-Me-Dave.  I mean if you can’t look good even by comparison to the King of all Calamity, then what does that say about you as the leader of the opposition to such inadequacy? Fucking hell.

‘Twas ever thus, but if and when the Tories form the next government, it won’t be because they won; but because Labour lost.   Although by the looks of things, it won’t be by nearly enough as it should be.

You have got to be kidding

Leg-Iron has pointed this one out over at his place:

What the fucking fuckity fuck?

The store's distributors said the man who provided the voice for the Chinese-made toy was unable to pronounce certain sounds, while his voice was also speeded up to distort and heighten the pitch.

Now THAT’s funny.

A mother told The Sun: "When I squeezed its tummy I couldn't believe my ears. I recognised the tune, but the words were certainly not traditional. Luckily my children are too young to understand."

And if they had been able to understand, that would mean….what, exactly?  Does saying ‘Paedophile’ enough times in a squeaky voice cause Charlie Fester the Child Molester to appear behind you, Candyman-style?

Single Atom Transistor

What these guys have done is very cool.   Here’s the abstract.

Something really small, yesterday

What these chaps have done is create a working transistor whose active region consists of a single phosphorus atom in silicon.

The working principles of the device are based on sequential tunneling of single electrons between the phosphorus atom and the source and drain leads of the transistor. The tunneling can be suppressed or allowed by controlling the voltage on a nearby metal electrode with a width of a few tens of nanometers.

Ace.

The problem with maintaining progress in line with Moore’s law was always going to be the realisation of transistors at atomic length scale (things get tricky when the distances between tracks are close enough to ‘jump’ between for your mischievous charge-carriers, for example).  It was always presumed that at some point in the near future, Chip development would come to a bit of a grinding halt whilst we worked out how to proceed –if at all- with existing IC technology.

Because in this new transistor all the electric current passes through the same single atom, they can examine what happens when transistors are as small as they can be.  And even if the quantum-mechanical effects observed at this level prove adverse to normal IC system production, those same effects could be used in the creation of quantum computers:

 The driving force behind the measurements reported now is the idea to utilize the spin degree of freedom of an electron of the phosphorus donor as a quantum bit, a qubit. The researchers were able to observe in their experiments spin up and down states for a single phosphorus donor for the first time. This is a crucial step towards the control of these states, that is, the realization of a qubit.

Yeah, that hurt me to read too.  I predict that computer technology is about to get really rather strange, but fascinating  all the same.

Reform? Yeah, right

In arguments with pro-EU types they will often admit that the institution is flawed, but that it is far better to be a member and fix it from the inside than not be in at all.  I’ve never believed that, but frankly I would’ve preferred it if they were right:

Quelle fucking surprise

The French government has summoned a meeting of what it called the "G22" - senior ministers from 22 European states - in an attempt to influence a rethink of the EU's Common Agricultural Policy (CAP).

However, it has not invited Britain or other so-called "reform nations" - the Netherlands, Sweden, Denmark and Malta - all of which have argued for a full overhaul of EU farm subsidies.

Bruno Le Maire, the French agriculture minister, said the aim was to "produce a battle plan to defend a strong common agriculture policy, to support a renewed CAP."

So anyone who wanted to at least try and fix the most egregiously insane EU construct (with it’s payouts for non-existent olive groves and French snail farmers who’ve reclassified their wares as land-based fish) has not been invited to the love-in, whilst the largest beneficiaries from the pot have regrouped in order to entrench and ensure the gravy train remains on it’s tracks.  Colour me stunned.

On the back of the French acquiring control of the regulation of  Europe’s financial institutions – and making no attempt to hide their rapacious intentions for the City-  the case against our membership grows stronger by the second.

You want to know how it’ll end?

If you’ve ever wondered how it’ll all end, how the final vestiges of free Britain would crumble away and how the state would one day utterly own you and all you hold dear; don’t look for draconian legislation like the Civil Contingencies Act or sinister corporatist bodies like ACPO.  No you need only look at useful idiots like this:

I’M so proud I could almost burst I haven’t felt this good about cradling something small and pink since my daughter Sophie was born.

You’re kidding, right? 

After all, in a city of two and a half million, only 1,386 have actually applied for these hotly-disputed ID cards.

The fact is that when the scheme, which is being trialled here in Manchester, opened for business on Monday morning, I was thrilled to be invited to be first in the queue (well, small queue) to apply for one.

You would’ve thought there was a hint in there somewhere, wouldn’t you?  So, having skimmed off the cream of Manchester’s morons, you rose to the top.  This must make you alpha-mong.

And how did I manage to bag poll position? Thanks entirely to this column, which I’ve had the privilege to use as a platform from which to venture encouraging opinions on the introduction of voluntary ID cards. 

Jesus, I wonder who she votes for?  There is no ‘privilege’ in being you, you simpering cretin.  You’ve spun out the party line and the apparatchiks have used you as their retarded panto-horse.

Though taking this view has always triggered furious debate, I didn’t realise that I was such a minority voice. But the Home Office did. Which is why they asked me if I wanted to lead from the front. Such is the power of this fine newspaper.

I must have missed all that furious debate, because all I’ve seen is badly presented arguments and spin from the Labour party faithful, and near-universal protest from anyone with IQs in three figures.

I won’t rehash all the arguments in favour of ID cards – that they are a small, convenient and portable way to prove identity. Nor will I try and convince opponents that they are not an infringement of English civil liberties. Everyone is entitled to their view.

But everyone is not entitled to their own fucking reality.   There are no arguments in favour to rehash. And why is proving my identity such a priority?  If and when I need to, there are myriad ways of doing so without having to lay bare the details of my life to every inept and pointless tendril of this bloated and petty government.

I won’t mention her description of the application procedure apart from to say that the plaster on her finger baffled both her and the interviewing officer when it came to the fingerprint scan.  They had to think about it  and discuss before deciding that maybe taking the plaster off would solve the problem.  I can only concur that there were levels of weapons-grade stupid so concentrated in that room that people passing the immediate vicinity would most likely regress and momentarily forgot not to eat their own shoes.

But I genuinely felt proud and excited when I was finally handed my card. I loved seeing my name, face and the words British citizen on this tiny piece of plastic. That’s who I am, and why shouldn’t anyone know?

Because they don’t need to, that’s why.  I, for one, am more than capable of reconciling my opinion of the country and my place in it without being tagged and officially sanctioned. 

As I’ve said before I understand why people have their reservations, but I personally can’t see what there is to lose if you’re a law abiding citizen with nothing to hide. And if it’s another weapon in the fight against identity fraud, illegal workers and terrorism, then that can only be for the good.

You are all that is supine and pathetic in this country. What you have to fear when you have nothing to hide, is proving you have nothing to hide.   This system is so obviously flawed and compromised (or open to compromise) on so many levels, that it is all but useless with regard to identity theft.  Employers of illegal workers are not generally unaware of their status, they just don’t ask and pay in cash.  And can anyone please tell me of any terrorist in recent history who was travelling under any identity but their own?  The rug-butting fucks behind 9/11, Madrid and 7/7 certainly weren’t.

Slipping it into my purse and slinking off into the gloom of an icy winter afternoon, I felt like I was pocketing a piece of history.

Oh I agree with you on that point, you’re definitely a pioneer in this this new chapter of British history.  In fact future historians will look to you and those like you when they try to piece together the path of the UK’s descent. 

Wear your master’s brand proudly, cattle.

Let’s hear it for the Portman Group…

 

….for saving us from ourselves.

Take it away before I hurt myself

The Portman Group said there had been complaints that a message on Fraserburgh-based BrewDog's Tokyo* labels encouraged excessive drinking.

It is issuing a retailer alert and wants the marketing altered before Tokyo* - at £10 a bottle - can be sold.

Right, first off: Have any of you fucking tools ever tried drinking beer which is as strong as that?  Have you ever tried drinking beer which is even half as strong as that?  Very strong beers inherently prevent repeated drinking on account of being incredibly sweet and thick compared to low strength brews.  Also:  It costs £10 a fucking bottle and is available to most people only by mail order.    Hardly being funnelled down the throats of Scotland’s disaffected youth, is it?

BrewDog was previously branded irresponsible for Tokyo* by Alcohol Focus Scotland, which complained to The Portman Group.

Fake charity alert.

Anyway, I popped across to their shop  and guess what?

And if you check the rest of their brews, you’ll find that they’re ALL sold out.  Absolutely brilliant.  I’m made up for them and I hope they make vast amounts of money and then up and leave to somewhere less overtly retarded. It’s just a shame I’ll have to wait for a restock before getting a chance to imbibe some myself.

Today’s awesome website is…

 

Autocompleteme.com

and my favourite:

Talking sense…in The Sun?

It shouldn’t need to be said that water and/or sugar pills will not cure all things, but apparently it does, and the The Sun does a great job here. 

And the NHS spends £10  million on this witchcraft every year.  Good job they’re not short of funds for proven, efficacious treatments or anything. 

Normal blogging will resume as soon as I get my sunburnt, lethargic arse in gear.

*Update*

From the Mash:

Helen Archer, an unwell person from Hatfield, said: "I'd lost a lot of weight, was having dizzy spells and had started coughing up blood. Unfortunately my homeopath wrote 'tincture of Elf Bane' on his prescription instead of 'for Christ's sake, go and see an oncologist'."